hmmm.. i didn't know i had two followers.

helloooo. :D

Literary Device #142: Repetition of "I"

      I’ve noticed one thing about myself lately. No.. not even “lately”, just in general. It’s that I like to rely on people. Whether it be for simple things like waking me up, to the more important things like finding reasons to live. Now I’m not suicidal, in fact I had to use spell check to spell that word, but I am tired. Tired of waking up everyday and going through the motions and not knowing why. Tired of finding myself at the end of the day, without reason without motivation. I use to look to my heart for the “why” in life. Why I should continue on and keep going. but as of late I’ve think I’ve lost touch with my heart. It’s feeling a little colder than I last remember. so I need to start looking into myself for the “why” I need to keep going not for the love I keep chasing, but I need to start doing it for me, otherwise I wont be able to keep going, I wont survive.
       I haven’t earned the right to complain. I look around and I see others that are moving forward, moving forward in the world that seems to want to keep them back. And if they can move forward with everything keeping them down. Why am I standing? Standing still, unmoving. Unmoving but still feeling. I haven’t earned the right to complain. It’s a bad feeling when you look around and you notice you’re in a hole that you can’t get out of. It’s even worse when you look down, and you see a shovel in your hand. I haven’t earned the right to complain, and I haven’t earned the right to ask for help. But here I am.. complaining.. and asking for help.